Tuesday, November 30, 2010; Y
Cindrey's impromptu speech about loneliness made me so emo loll. Okay, not her fault cuz she's really sweet and her speeches are all damn good. But her concluding statement was being alone doesn't mean being lonely. So there. I think I've come across the phrase before, somewhere, somehow. But being reminded of it again... sighs. Just this morning I was thinking all this that I'm doing wouldn't have been so tough if I wasn't in it alone.
Well, not entirely alone, I know. Sometimes muel helps when he isn't complaining that I shouldn't have joined jcrc. And I have a few people in hall who are really, really, too-good-to-be-true nice who help me each time I have deliveries and events. I love them so so much. Such nice people... I should make friends with them. Because, see, the thing is, I don't really have friends ): not in school, except for those few I already know before nbs and my proj groupmates, and hardly in hall. Maybe cuz I don't keep in contact. But it's so hard to start to keep in contact when they choose to contact others anyways. Sighs I'm such a failure. It's only sem 1.
Uni is supposed to be all bright and fun. Mr dlim didn't get his facts right/updated.
Zomg why am I suddenly so depressed ): loneliness? wth ):
So I was thinking, what can I do to help others in return and actually interact with them instead. Yeah I know, what a social retard I am.
It's just... the emptiness. When during tutorial just now, I realised that I have no one to mug with. No classmate whom I can rely on like I did last time in nj and before. People like masu whom I've seen and smelt for all those years. Now when I need favours, I just keep feeling like I'm being a nuisance to others. Maybe it's just nostalgia. And this is called moving forward. And I've to swallow the bitter pill and grow up.
And I don't know how many times I've told myself that /:
fall for someone who catches you @13:40
Brooding again...
Bread and Milk delivery is giving me serious headache. Just solved the problem of storage for drinks (turned out to be a false alarm... wasted like 2+ hours trying to source for fridges in hall D: but at least it's a false alarm... can't have asked for something better [: ) and when I called the gardenia office to ask about the bread delivery later, the lady at the phone was like 'huh?? delivery?'... she told me to call back in another 10 mins for her colleague to return. Please, please, pleaseeeeeeee don't scare me like that. There's a lot of bread for me to buy today already ):
And there's OB lecture today zzzz till 6.30 pm can siao luh. If it's really useless, I would totally hate the course coordinator with the funny name. Cuz I could've spent that time going to source for my groceries for bread and milk already ): and poor muel has to help me buy and move everything even though he doesn't have a car today )): ilu boyf!!
4 minutes more till I call back to find out that a) the lady who just answered the phone needs to be more involved in the company's operations b) they screw up. I really think it's a). So I shan't worry so much here...
Except my pastor taught us to expect the best, and prepare for the worst. There's faith involved, and brains too. So I'm thinking of what I can prepare to do... other than hopping around ntuc and trying to buy up all the bread they need today at retail price... there better be enough money.
And I know I grumble too much D:
I just don't bother to update when I'm happy that's all LOLL. Ooops sorry x: okay, I'll try and update more when I'm happy, so that I won't sound like some emo bitch moping around. hahaha :D
On the side note, I managed to score okay for stats quiz 2 yesterday. It's not fantastic. Prolly just average... /: and when combined with my quiz 1 results... it'll still bring me down to far below average. I've calculated. Of the 20% of total score for stats, I've only managed to score about the 10.2% worth or something. Sighs.
Well, my only consolation is... it could have been worse! So [:
fall for someone who catches you @08:55
Thursday, November 18, 2010; Y
Hi. You know how bad decisions land you in irreversible patches and all you want to do is reverse anyways and end up crashing your car? But no. Of course I know the PC answer is that you're supposed to go along with the lousy shit decision anyways and brave through the thick and thickkkkkk in a dignified fashion because it's the correct, responsible, mature, adult thing to do. Yet all you feel like doing is grumble to anyone who would listen anyways.
Tsk. I hate it when I'm so hypocritical /:
AH. Live it. Miracles can happen and make things better [: like........ I dunno what. God is a creative God, He'll know what :D hahaha.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
~ Psalm 139:11-12 [NKJV]
fall for someone who catches you @14:52
Thursday, November 11, 2010; Y
Yesterday was pretty epic. A bit similar to that day mrspoon sent me home in her KIA. But not the same.
The morning started with me waking up on a makeshift mattress (basically consisting of two comforters folded into the shape of a single mattress) on my parents' room's floor. That is quite sad. And then I bathed and went to school to hand in my halls fees which were already late so there was a $10 penalty charge (!#!#%%&^@%!#^#%^@$*) and yesterday was the deadline for this payment again. Sighs so had to go lorh. Stupid office closes so damn early at 4.30. No time to go after my marketing tutorial anyways.
Then went back to hall and waited for groupmates to come. Groupmates came. Haha and we gave munhan a birthday surprise in my room cuz ml suggested it. It was quite successful whoots my acting skills rock.
Rehearsed for our presentation and everythang. Then we changed to look like powderful corporate women and walked in a group to can 2 to eat ahaha. Then we took a bus 179 to school.
Then there was the presentation itself. Wth @#%@$^#& feeling cramps in my womb. Wth right. During Q&A I was pressing my tummy the whole time. Sighs. Awkward. And in pain. Such a wrong combination.
Class was okay, discussions and all. Didn't volunteer answer like I promised myself to because I need mktg class part points X: but okay never mind. Next week.
Pain, pain, pain.
After class, because I didn't want to appear anti-social, I stayed with my groupmates who wanted to camwhore before their next class since mktg ended early. Was in excruciating pain and didn't want to limp off alone anyways, so I lingered behind their webcam. Awws. Have you ever had Level 200 menses cramps?
To be fair to my womb, it did let me have a minute of rest at certain intervals and I relished in the feeling like I was dead. Zomg. So good. But still, rest means that you have to work and battle afterwards. Sighs.
When groupmates had to leave, I had to leave to. So I stood and tried to walk off. Zomg. The sensation of wanting to puke. I might as well be pregnant and have the morning sickness thing but no, I was having menses.
Yiqian was sweet and wanted to accompany me down but she had class so I didn't want to trouble her... Took a lift down to the carpark to go to innovation centre's bus stop. Carpark was horrible. The open space made me feel whoozy. So I squatted at an unoccupied parking lot for a while. Praying and just feeling sorry for myself zzz.
Then, after a few seconds. A miracle happened in the form of kat/pat (didn't get the name down x:). He stopped and asked in such a sweet concerned voice if I was okay. I said honestly no, I had cramps ): he asked if I needed to call a cab. It was a good idea. So I said yes yes please. He said okay and told me to hold on there! I was more than willing to hold on. Imagine having to walk to the bus stop to find a cab, or worse, bus to take home. Shudders. Holding on had so much more appeal.
But I said I dunno where the carpark was exactly so dunno how to call a cab in. He didn't know how to exactly too haha. So he was so smart and zomg he called his friend to come pick me up. He asked where do I stay so I just gave him the street name first. To our shock, he stays exactly there too. SO COOOOOOL. My neighbourhood is so so so nice and angelic. Unlike bukitahempanjang so scary /:
Oh then his friend came! Zomg so embarrassing. But so freaking nice. This is what I call a miracle. NBS students can have hearts of gold too ♥ !!
Amanda Ng drove me home in her blue car. So pretty and lovely ♥ sighhhhs! x:
We talked on the bus, kind of. I just whined. hahahaha. She asked me stuff and said she's from NBS too and that I've such nice seniors HAHAHA so cute right but yeah it's trueeee awws! I asked for her name so that's how I know. And she asked if I knew that guy (pat/kat she said) and if I were from his church or something. Which was weird hahaha. So I replied no, I didn't know him at all and it was so nice of himmmm and so so nice of her toooo!! Then she said it's okay and everything hahaha. So nice!!!!
Then out of curiosity, I asked which church was pat/kat from. She said city harvest expo. Then I was excited and said whoaa cool cuz hogc is kind of affiliated (eh I'm not too sure exactly if we are!) cuz PstKong is our pastor's teacher! It was like. Zomg so cool the linkage. No wonder pat/kat was so nice. Other passersby would've just passed by /: whooots!
Amanda sent me to the 199 bus stop below my house direct. Whoots SO NICE!! Then she told me to take care and rest well and I thanked her profuselyyyy. I got home and it was all so miraculous. With shaking hands, I swallowed two pink pills. Was lazy to take water, but throat was so dry I needed water to get the pills down sighs.
Went to the makeshit mattress to lie down again under two blankets, after changing out of the stifling corporate outfit. Finally had a chance to reply to boyf's message. I think I shouldn't have used the word 'collapsed' X: but I was in the drama, gushing mode cuz I encountered a miracle of sorts.
Then he called me and I was quite puzzled. He's supposed to have a seminar now and everything. Then he said he's coming over zz. LESSON LEH. I really told him no. See, I'm a thoughtful girlf too hahaha. But he still came.
So I laid on the bed and tried to rest, thinking about the afternoon. So cool. I felt so loved by the strangers, by my boyf and by God. Awws and I just cried. Sighs. It was a good day. I had some revelations ♥ wow.
:D my mum came home and prodded me and poked me. At one point she put her finger under my nose cuz I wasn't moving at all and she probably thought I was dead. So I held my breathing...
LOLL.
Okay, I'm so evil. But I was still feeling super weak, though the pain subsided from the pills, and didn't want to talk. So I grunted stuff and she thought I was sick and was finally exasperated with my lack of response and left the room. At least I wasn't dead hahaha.
After a while, she came in again, announcing muel's entrance hahaha. Yayee my cute boyf ♥ ! Whoots. My mum was jealous I opened my eyes for him but not for her. Hahaha. I told her my rationale. Cuz he came all the way from school and it was more moving ma hee XX:
Muel came and did his work on laptop while I kind of napped. Awws so sweet. Sighs I was so contented. Maybe I did die from the cramps and was already in heaven, feeling so loved by everyone. But nah, the dull throbs in my womb didn't testify to my belief /:
When I felt better (and hungry), we left to eat at JP. Finally settling on NYNY hahaha after a while of picking. He said we could eat our fill for the next two days with the meat platter. I was up for the challenge.
Okay, kind of regretted when I saw the PLATTER. But I was a man and sucked it up. The roasted chicken was shoooo heavenly. I really should have died and went to heaven.
We finished almost everything. Save a corn, and some wedges and fries. Just some. And I asked for 3 cotton candies. At the third, which was when it was muel's turn to ask, the waitress was kind of giggling at us. Zomg. Why do people all think we are such gluttons D:
Like the night before when we went to macs and bought a mcflurry. Okay, it was my fault. I dropped like 90% of it on the floor when we barely had 10% if it X: so he had to go back and buy another one. And because it was pretty late, he had to go back to the same counter. It was the counter where he first asked for two mcflurries, but I was beside him and shouted NO... think the whole restaurant heard me X: the girl sort of smiled in a funny way at me then. So the second time muel went back to buy, I stayed outside of macs. He came back with a mcflurry and told me the girl kind of giggled when he ordered. zzzzz. Think she got the wrong idea o.o
Anyways, so then the great night ended after the dinner and he left for home and me for hall. Had a meeting till 2am. Zomg lollll. I actually stayed awake. Amazed.
Came back... surprised that roomie was in!!!!!!! I thought she wasn't cuz I was back at 10+ to no shadow of her. Oh well.
So great! I slept. Like I was dead to the world. Till about 12? X: totally missed lessons )): muel's hating me now and asking me to quit stuff )): sighs. I want yesterday back again.
fall for someone who catches you @12:47
